For the UK having some of the most advanced domestic abuse laws in the world, whether the stigma or the system, few cases make the distance and cases of high-profile perpetrators are hidden from the headlines. We can all cite cases in the US; James Brown, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen, Chris Brown to name a few, but still where there were physical injuries as proof. How likely will it be that the assault charges against Giggs are the only ones that stick, and why?

Coercive control became punishable by law in 2015. A milestone introduction, but there is still a long way to go in making that law count for survivors, and penalising, let alone stopping perpetrators. The police recorded 758,941 domestic abuse related crimes in the year up to March 2020*. A 9% increase on the prior year, contributing a staggering 59% of the total number of incidents and crimes reported, and with no doubt a shuddering increase to come from this year of lockdown to March 2021. However only 8% (61,169) of prosecutions for these domestic abuse offences were successful, with just 34 arrests per 100 cases recorded.

So why are these conviction rates so poor? Unsurprisingly, most of these recorded offences, 78%, were violence against the person. Assault is a well-trodden path of readily available evidence of injury and an uncomplicated crime for the police to understand and prove.

Of the thousands of perpetrators that go without conviction, some 52% of lost or dropped cases are associated to the victim; retracted statements, non-attendance at trial or where evidence does not support the case. None of which should be surprising, and all of which can be overcome. By definition of domestic abuse, victims are under a high level of control from their perpetrators, fear, intimidation, shame, all automatically create a high risk of retraction, and a terror at the ordeal of facing them in court. We have run our whole existences on video screens this last year, so why should a woman ever have to be in the same room as their perpetrator now?

Evidence of non-physical abuse can absolutely be gathered but takes more effort and understanding to prove the pattern; emails, messages, social media posts, voice recordings, financial accounts, 3rd party observation as witness statement, could all contribute to successful conviction. Of that 758,941 recorded crimes, for only 24,856 of these offences to be coercive control simply does not make sense in reflecting the true scale of the problem. When 1 in 4 women suffer abuse in their lifetime, it indicates the futility survivor’s still feel in coming forward.

And we are back to Mr Giggs. Yes, innocent until proven guilty, but lets sincerely hope this charge has been pressed soundly and the case judged knowledgeably to make the laws we have in place count.

*Data source – ONS, England and Wales, excluding Greater Manchester

Read a press release here

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Home working without doubt has advantages, few miss the grind and cost of the daily commute, productivity is higher, and efficiencies gained tackling work/life admin. Inevitably challenges are posed too; maintaining boundaries of work/life balance of our time and physical space, communication and collaboration must be planned, provision of IT support and office equipment inefficient, and the critical yet complex aspect of mental health and wellbeing has yet to be addressed as a long-term reality.

The impromptu comment at the start of a meeting, coffee machine chat, or gaze out of the window can all be telling indicators of other factors of our lives. Assessing a person’s state of being is infinitely harder on a 2-D screen. The last year has also exposed a critical gap in our focus and investment in physical over mental health.

Investment in our people will need to change, and at every level of seniority. If we assume younger employees may struggle with isolation and the chaos of working in a house share, parents have no separation (or escape!) from the school day routine and may crave the relative calm of an office. Let alone motivation, collaboration, inspiring innovation and maintaining stimulation without the given of human interaction, all circumstances requiring individual investment and care.

Coaching has the possibility to address this range of scenarios, supporting the individual, even as a team intervention to help maintain a sense of collective. Providing a dedicated and safe space for people to talk, recognise and overcome barriers, surface their competencies, focus forward on goals and strategies, and most importantly for the circumstances, build resilience and confidence. All require an individual conversation for the individual to flourish, and a re-setting of and re-investment in personal development after a year of survival.

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The seemingly random connection of Sarah as victim to her perpetrator, like Libby Squire before her, brings home the vulnerability women face in their daily lives, and the stark reality of gender-based crime committed by strangers, let alone those known and trusted to us.

2 women a week are killed by a partner or ex-partner but fail to make headline news.

Does anybody even remember the name Cristina Magda-Calancea? Murdered in 2018 at the age of 26 by her ex-partner, and her colleague, in a brutal knife attack.

In this case, a domestic homicide review panel was assembled, and found earlier this year (her) employers still did not understand the benefit of investing in domestic abuse awareness, and it was “disappointing” her employment agency had provided little information to staff. The government have echoed this sentiment that employers “have a duty” to support staff who suffer domestic abuse, yet embarrassingly few have policies in place. The age-old stigma still exists that abuse is only real if its physical, an outdated and inaccurate judgement, but undoubtedly there is a lack of awareness, and confidence, on how to support survivors.

Domestic abuse is estimated to cost the UK economy £66bn a year, the majority in repairing the physical and psychological harm done to survivors, funding specialist services and the spending required to deal with the consequences across the NHS and criminal justice system. But let us not underestimate the cost of lost economic output, absenteeism, financial control preventing women even working, and the grim reality of being forced to flee employment just to be safe.

What if we reframe this as an opportunity for employers to take the lead? Managers and colleagues are in a unique position of regular and frequent interaction with a victim of abuse and can be easily educated on how to spot the signs. Few businesses are unable to provide a physically safe space for a victim to disclose or make a simple phone call to seek outside specialist support. HR departments and managers can be trained to provide a deeper level of support without invading privacy or confidentiality. Domestic abuse policies do not need to be expensive but are critical in tackling this pandemic, acknowledging its impact and the need to reduce it.

With 1 in 4 women experiencing abuse in their lifetime, the solution to ending this cycle is neither simple nor straightforward, but we can help by recognising and raising awareness of the traits and impact of abuse, protecting survivors with provision of emotional and practical support, and pursuing prevention through enhanced awareness, education, and training.

Sources:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-55815959
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-55644222

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They’ve been psychologically controlled, abused and belittled and yet still many callers to the Refuge National Domestic Abuse Helpline are stoic – apologetic, even. Until, that is, they hear three simple words: “I believe you”. Then they often start to cry.

“They’ve been led to think that any problems in the relationship are their fault – it’s a common facet of control,” explains Sarah Clarke, who answers helpline calls five days a week. “They’re astonished to learn that the same patterns of abuse are being carried out in countless households across the country.”

Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline, which is run by a team of expert, trained female staff and volunteers, offers friendly, non-judgemental support to thousands of women. Recent ONS figures suggest that one in four women in England and Wales will experience domestic abuse at some stage in their life; coronavirus restrictions have amplified the problem, however, with increased caller volumes during both lockdowns putting pressure on the helpline.

“The enforced isolation helps perpetrators to separate their partners from family and friends and take full control of their finances and activities,” explains Hannah, who volunteers for the helpline three times a month from her desk at home. “Domestic abuse should be a thing of the past, but it’s a pandemic of its own.”

It can be difficult to understand why a woman wouldn’t walk out on a man who causes her untold pain, but there are countless reasons why she stays. Many of the callers Hannah and Sarah speak to describe their partners as charming, loving men for much of the time; they blame themselves for the violence and bullying.

“Women try to normalise abuse for the sake of their children or their religion or for financial reasons,” says Sarah, 45, who had a career in advertising before joining the helpline as staff. “They don’t see that their partner has been slowly chipping away their self-confidence.” There is no typical victim, adds Hannah; the person on the other end of the line could be of any age, race or demographic. “It always surprises me how endemic the problem is – even the most independent, strong-willed women can become a victim,” she says.

A positive aspect of the coronavirus pandemic is that domestic abuse has been spotlighted by the media, helping more women to see that their situation is not normal – but the stresses of furlough and lockdown have led to more cases. “We’re receiving more reports of psychological and emotional abuse as people realise that abuse isn’t always physical – it’s about control,” Hannah says. “These are highly manipulative men we’re dealing with. They’re not going to let their partner show up on Zoom with a black eye; they make them suffer with other gestures – breaking their treasured objects; convincing them they’re going crazy; monitoring their expenditure and phone calls.”

During both lockdowns, the helpline has also received more calls from third parties concerned about children and teens who, stuck inside with their parents, begin to notice the abusive behaviour playing out in their family home.

“Sadly psychological abuse very easily leads into physical violence,” Hannah explains. Just like the callers, the helpline team is made up of all ages and backgrounds. “It’s a fascinating mix of people united by a common cause and objective,” Sarah adds. They’re not qualified counsellors or lawyers, but they provide a full spectrum of emotional and psychological support – both on the phone and via live online chat.

“We listen, we unpick the situation and give them emotional and practical support about their rights and the options available to them in terms of divorce, child contact and finances should they decide to leave,” explains Sarah, who is a survivor of domestic abuse herself.

“We can also put them in touch with a specialist domestic abuse worker who will provide regular support.”

Often the caller will be someone who contacts the helpline frequently, but sometimes the woman on the end of the line will be opening up for the first time after decades of abuse. “I find these calls some of the hardest – it’s so powerful that they’re finally calling us in their fifties or sixties, but it’s also devastating that they’ve suffered for so long,” Sarah says. No matter how serious the accusations, she will never tell the caller to “leave him”, though – the helpline has a strict protocol to protect the caller.

If the perpetrator is in the house during the call, they encourage the caller to get back in touch when they are alone or communicate via the helpline’s online chat feature or secure email web form, where they can request a safe time to be contacted; they are also mindful that perpetrators will often pretend to be victims in order to find out what support their partner is being given. “If the woman is not ready to leave, we respect that; if they do want to explore their options, we’ll outline the housing options available to them or help them find a space in one of our refuges,” Hannah says. “That moment when a woman leaves is the most critical time – it’s when she is most likely to be at risk of harm. It takes an average of seven attempts until she actually gets away.”

Initially Hannah worried that she’d find it difficult not to switch off from the disclosures of abuse, but she was surprised by her resilience. Before taking their first call, staff and volunteers receive extensive training and there is an online chat room open for support during shifts.

“I get so much more from this than I give,” she says. “The callers are so inspiring – someone is telling them every day they’re worthless, and yet they keep going. It’s mind-blowing.”

Some of the trickiest calls Sarah and Hannah receive are those from third parties – concerned friends or family who want to know how to support women suffering abuse. “Often it’s not safe for them to intervene directly,” Sarah says. “If the survivor themselves isn’t ready to take action then intervening can have a negative effect, empowering the abuser and putting the woman in serious danger.” She advises friends and relations to offer their support in a non-judgemental way and encourage their loved one to contact the Refuge helpline. “It takes confidence to dial the number, but it’s the safest way for them to escape their situation. Shockingly, around two women a week in England and Wales are killed by a partner or ex-partner.”

As helpline staff and volunteers rarely speak to the same caller twice, they don’t often hear what happens to the caller once she puts the phone down. While Sarah would be interested to hear the outcomes, she is confident the conversations she has have a profound impact. “You can see the change taking place over just one call,” she says. “The caller might have been in tears throughout, but by the end you will hear them laugh or simply breathing more easily.”

This, she says, brings her more job satisfaction than she had in 20 years working in advertising. “Domestic abuse is very much a man-made problem,” she explains. “It can – and must – be stopped.”

Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline, 0808 2000 247, is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week for free, confidential specialist support. Refuge is one of four charities supported by The Telegraph’s Christmas Charity Appeal. The others are Cruse Bereavement Care, Macmillan Cancer Support and Carers UK. To make a donation visit telegraph.co.uk/appeal or call 0151 284 1927

Original Article

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